Mad World
by Admiral Daala
Summary: For her to find peace, they must die. Featuring Cody and my OC Thea
1. Chapter 1

This roughly takes place 6 months after **Let Go. **If you haven't read that story I suggest skimming through it so you understand this story better.

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><p><em>"I drag myself out of nightmares each morning only to find there's no relief in waking."<em>

_Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay _

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><p>Thea withered and moaned as their calloused, rough hands groped and grabbed at her body. She flailed with her arms and legs in a vain attempt to keep them away from her. As one bound her wrists in his large paw the other bit and licked her, tainting and marking her alabaster skin.<p>

"Please don't," she would beg only to be returned with revolting laughter and wolfish grins. As one held her down the other readied himself, Thea could not stop the flow of tears and bile rising to her throat. "No," she begged one more time. He raised himself so that she could look into his loathsome face only to find that it wasn't Appo, but Cody.

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><p>Thea Barron shot up from her sleeping pallet, heart pounding against her chest and body quaking from rattled nerves. Blinking a few times to let her eyes adjust to the surrounding darkness, Thea realized that she was on her ship <em>Themis <em>and not back in the hell that she had escaped from two years ago. Running a shaky hand through her hair, down her face and over her lips, she wondered why she was starting to have these nightmares again.

A soft little snore to her side interrupted her thoughts as she looked over and studied the sleeping body next to her. Cody, ex-commander of the fallen Republic had swooped into her life a little over six months ago and together they had helped each other through some of the darkest of nights. He had been able to help her stop running from her demons and free her from the loathsomeness she felt. He had shown her that love can be gentle, caring and passionate and it was okay to let go.

In return, she had given him her heart. It was something that she never thought she could do or would want do again, not since Echo. Since then, the nightmares she had all but disappeared. That is, until recently. The whole past week Thea had been plagued with terrors of being found again and taken back to the Coruscant prison to be tortured by Appo and Bow again. In her nightmare, she was never able to break free and tonight had taken a horrible turn as it wasn't Appo who was attacking her, but Cody. It made her sick to her stomach to think of him that way. She knew Cody would never do such a thing, even vowing to kill Appo and Bow if he ever saw them again. But it did not calm her nerves.

Cody slightly shifted in his sleep and Thea suddenly felt foolish. Cody loved her and put up with her antics when she had gone into full blown panic attacks when they attempted to make love. Thea didn't know of another man out there who would be patient enough and just hold and/or talk her through her attacks. Biting the bottom of her lip, she tried to recall the last time they even made love.

Cringing, all she could remember was the glorious night on Mandalore when she and Cody bonded and one other time after a crazy transport of some cargo and being chased by pirates who demanded that they either hand over the cargo or never see the light of day again. With some outrageous maneuvers and fancy flying and shooting, Cody and Thea had successfully evaded the pirates and dropped off the cargo at its destination. The owner of the cargo had graciously offered them both a room for the night which they accepted. In the end, sleep did not come as Cody and Thea got caught up in the moment and let their adrenaline and passions take over.

_It's a wonder he even wants to be with me. I am a full blown psychotic mess. _Feeling her body begin to relax, Thea took a deep breath and exhaled it through her mouth. She wasn't going back to sleep tonight, she didn't want to go through another round of dreams like that again. Scooting down, she lay back down on the bed and curled around Cody's strong back draping her arm around his waist.

"Thea?" A tired and muffled voice came from Cody's side of the bed.

"Shh, go back to sleep Cody," Thea urged. She hadn't meant to wake him.

Too late, he may have been a sound sleeper, but old habits were hard to kill and with his sensitive hearing and military training, Cody was awake. Turning on his other side so he was now facing her, Cody eyed Thea with concern. He had noticed a difference in her this past week, but learned the first time when he tried to get Thea to talk about it. She had gone silent and wouldn't talk to him, which was difficult since they shared the ship together. He relented and apologized for pushing her to talk; telling her when she was ready then he would be there to listen. It never happened.

"I'm sorry Cody," Thea looked embarrassingly down at the plains of his chest.

"For what?" It was too early and his brain was trying to get the wheels turning on what she could possibly be sorry for.

"For seeing you as something that you are not," she mumbled. Cody drew his brows together and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, Thea was looking at him with a brewing amount of emotions he couldn't quite place.

"What?" He didn't understand and he was sure it wasn't the sleep that was clogging his brain. Thea wasn't making sense.

"It doesn't matter, you'll never be him and you've proven that over and over." It was like she was having a conversation with herself, but as Cody listened, he was starting to get an idea. _Of course I'll never be like Echo, but I'm not trying to be. I thought she understood that._

Cody was about to open his mouth, but was taken by surprise as Thea's red-rose lips descended onto his. She pushed him to his back as she climbed onto his waist and looked down at him, her cheeks flushed and dark eyes wide.

What was going on? What had gotten into her? "Thea…" but Cody was again thwarted from speaking as she smothered him with another mind blowing kiss. Taking his bottom lip into her mouth, she none-so-gently sucked on it and then began a trail over his jaw to his throat. A low groan vibrated in the back of his throat as her lips descended to his collar bone and continued to go lower.

_Wait! _"Thea!" Cody firmly took her by the arms and made her stop; as much as he wanted to keep going, he had to find out why she was acting this way. Her hair was in disarray half of it covered her face, the other half looking like a wild pyro tornado. "What are you doing?" He demanded.

"Don't you want this Cody?" She huskily asked pushing her hips forward against his. A hiss sneaked its way through his teeth and again he had to close his eyes to fight for control.

"More than anything Thea, but this isn't you. What brought this on? Is it the dreams?"

Thea lifted her lip in a small snarl. "I don't want to talk about it, but I realized that we haven't made love in a long, long time. I haven't been fair to you." She took each of Cody's hands into hers and rested them above his head and leaned forward so that their chests were meeting and their lips only a breath a part. "I need you to love me. Show me again Cody; show me that it can be kind, gentle and wonderful."

"Thea…" Something was horribly wrong, she never acted this way. As much as he wanted to do this, as much as his body told him to love on her, he couldn't. "Thea stop."

She wasn't listening to him as she took little nips down his navel. Cody's breath started to become ragged and a soft moan emitted from him as her tongue ran over his nipple. She was driving him to distraction and it was working. He could feel her release his hands and her nails skimmed over his arms sending delightful shivers throughout his body. Warning bells screamed in alarm for him to stop her, but his deprived body waged a gallant war. Her kisses soon made it to his waist, right above his sleeping shorts and Cody was lost to her touches.

Snaking a hand around her waist, he flipped them over so that he was now on top and ran his hand along the side of her ribcage. He cupped her breast into his hand and skimmed his thumb over her erect nipple.

"Touch me Cody, make me forget," she panted against him. He should have stopped as soon as the words left her mouth, but he would do anything for Thea to help ease her pain. The urgency in her voice set the pace, their night clothes were quickly discarded, his hands quickly found her sweet spot causing her to cry out. He pumped into her; one; two fingers and Thea's hands tangled into his silky ebony hair, letting him wash her worries away at least for the time being.

Feeling her tighten around him, he pulled out of her, not letting her get away from him that quickly. Her eyes opened and flashed brilliantly in the dark. "Cody…" she purred. Her throaty timber only made him harder. _Slow down son,_ but he couldn't. She was glowing, calling, tempting him and he would not be denied to her seductive call. She raked her fingers right above his maleness, over his solid belly to his shoulders.

"Woman you're killing me," he growled. Taking her breast into his mouth he lavished attention on it until she was chanting his name and went to the other. Both their bodies quivering, ready and craving, Cody swiftly entered Thea.

"Cody!" She shrieked his name as his body filled within hers. Setting an almost impossible tempo, Cody nearly withdrew himself to slam back into her, causing them to both cry out in pure ecstasy. As athletic as he was, Cody would not be able to keep up this chaotic pace for long. Thea bucked several times against him and then wrapped her legs around his hips, squeezing them tightly against her. That's all it took to send them both over the edge and into bliss.

Later after catching their breaths and recuperating somewhat, Thea unraveled herself from Cody and slid off the bed without as much as a word to him and made her way into the refresher. She closed the door behind her, shutting herself in and Cody out.

Not that Cody would complain about sex, especially since it was few and null between him and Thea, but he knew a diversion when he saw one. This was one. There was obviously something very wrong with her for she would never use love making as an excuse or tool to be taken advantage of. But wasn't that what they had just done? Didn't she just use it to excuse herself from having to explain about her night terrors?

_Make me forget,_ her sultry voice plead with him. _Forget what Thea? Echo? Appo and Bow? What? _Sighing with frustration, Cody knew he wouldn't be able to sleep again and decided to get up. Swinging his long legs over the bed, he stood up and some trepidation he approached the refresher.

"Thea?" He lightly knocked on the door.

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><p>Inside the refresher Thea braced each hand on either side of the metallic sink and breathed in deeply trying to regain some composure. Her heart hadn't calmed down; in fact, her pulse was racing even faster than during their love making and she willed herself not to fall into another panic attack.<p>

Quickly splashing some cool water onto her face, she let the liquid run down and drip into the basin. She then looked into the mirror. The reflection should have startled her, but for some reason it didn't. Dark lines rimmed under her eyes giving a stark contrast to her snowy colored skin. Little red dots marked where Cody's lips had been and she lightly touched one of them.

"_Bleed for me Red,"_ Appo's revolting voice cackled. Thea lurched forward, unable to contain the vomit from spewing out of her mouth. Luckily she made it into the toilet before it went everywhere. As she emptied the contents from her stomach Cody's extremely worried voice sounded from outside. Gasping for a breath, Thea hovered over the toilet for a few minutes in case her stomach decided it wasn't finished.

'Thea?" He called again.

Backing up to the wall, she slowly lowered herself to the ground, letting her naked body feel the cold of the floor and wall.

'Thea!" Cody yelled.

Trying to keep the quake out of her voice, Thea replied, "I'll be out in just a minute Cody."

"Are you alright?" Leaning her forehead against her knees, she felt far from alright.

"Yes," she lied.

There was silence on the other side and for a moment Thea thought he had left. "Tell me what I can do to help."

_Nothing Cody. There's nothing you can do._ "I'm just going to jump into the shower and I'll be out in a little bit." Her stomach rolled and her limbs felt weak, but she didn't want to go back to bed. Going back to bed meant she might go back to sleep and sleeping meant nightmares.

"I'll have some caf waiting for you when you get out."

As Thea showered, she made the water as hot as her skin would allow her. She soaked under the warmth; still it would not warm her up. She scrubbed her body with the soap over and over, trying to rid of the memory of their hands, but she could still feel them pawing at her.

_What can I do to help? _Cody had asked. Thea paused mid scrub as a new thought came to her. It started to become clear to her that the reason she was still having these night terrors, why she was getting physically ill was because there was a chance Appo and Bow were still out there and could harm her. What if they were no longer around? There would no longer be a reason to fear and justice would be done: an eye for an eye. She would not let them taint her lover's good name or face anymore; she no longer would see him as a monster in her dreams.

Suddenly her stomach untied itself, the cold that just would not leave began to melt and she finally felt the warmth of the steamy shower. Yes, that was the solution. Appo and Bow had to pay for their crimes, for her long and agonizing anguish. They had to die; it was the only way for her to have a full and fearless life. Feeling a sense of relief knowing that soon her demons would disappear, Thea let herself enjoy the rest of her shower.

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><p>Cody sipped uneasily on his café and waited for Thea to emerge from the refresher. He expected many things when she appeared from him: for her to be quiet and sullen as she had been so many times before, tense and aggravated or pretend that nothing had happened at all. As she stepped out of the room, draped only in a towel, fresh steam still rising from her skin, an afterglow silhouetting her frame and droplets falling from her blood-red tresses, Cody had to suppress the urge to ravish her again. <em>Cool your jets boy.<em>

"Are you alright?" He asked awkwardly.

"Yes Cody," she sounded confident, but that made him moved vexed

"I thought I heard you throwing up in there? Are you sick?" He prodded. She shook her head as she found some clothes to wear for the day. Now he was growing impatient. Setting down his mug, he strode up to her, grabbing Thea by the shoulders and turned her so that she was looking at him. "Are you going to tell me what this morning was all about?" He couldn't read anything in her dark eyes and blank stare, except the small tick in her cheek. "Don't you trust me?"

Her face slackened and she wrapped her arms around his torso, placing her head against his chest. Tentatively he returned the hug.

"Of course I trust you," she whispered. The next few words uttered out of her mouth shook Cody to his core. "I'm going to kill Appo and Bow."

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><p><em>Off to a dark start! <em>

_Stay tuned for more. Enjoy and please review! =)_


	2. Chapter 2

It's true, we're all a little insane

But it's so clear,

Now that I'm unchained…

"Sweet Sacrifice" by Evanescence

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><p>Untangling his arms from around her body, he held Thea back an arm's length and glared at her incredulously. Did he hear her right? Did she really say what he thought she said? "What?" he replied rather dumbly.<p>

"I'm going to kill Appo and Bow," Thea disengaged herself from Cody and walked over to the dresser to pick out her clothes. Cody was dumbfounded at how nonchalant she was acting. Did some spirit possess his woman?

Finding his voice, Cody asked, "You think killing them is going to solve all your problems?" At one time he had thought seeking revenge on Rex and Ahsoka would satisfy his guilt for the loss of Obi Wan and Barriss Offee, but thankfully he hadn't been successful. Bow and Appo were nothing like his brother and Jedi, but spilling blood was still spilling blood.

"I know it will," Thea let the towel side from her body and fall to the ground. It always made Cody seethe at seeing the savage scars and faded bruises that would never truly go away tarnish her body and he could understand her want to seek vengeance, but to really go through with it? "I can't sleep anymore Cody, I can't dream without seeing their faces above me, their hands all over me and…" she had to hold the gag back, "well you know the rest."

"Have you ever taken a life Thea?" Cody slowly approached her and leaned against the dresser, watching as her body went from relaxed to rigid. Slipping on a long sleeved shirt as she always had so that her scars were covered; she narrowed her eyes at Cody.

"What's that got to do with me killing Appo and Bow?"

"Everything!" Cody threw his arms up in the air in exasperation. "I know what they did to you they deserve to burn in hell for all eternity, but do you really want to be the one with their blood on your hands? Thea, I have killed. I know what it's like to have that on your conscience. Are you prepared to take away life?"

"Yes," she answered without hesitation. "Cody," Thea shifted from one foot to another uneasily. Looking down almost ashamed, she was trying to think of a way without completely offending her lover, but also trying to make him understand her need as well.

"Hey, you can tell me," Cody gently cupped her chin and raised her head to look at him. The brutal, jagged scar that viciously ran across her pretty face also served as a constant reminder for Thea and Cody of the animalist attack from Appo. Cody moved his hand and lightly caressed the scar and over her lips, tenderly brushing his lips over hers. "Tell me," he whispered against her.

Unable to stop from flinching as Appo's sickly voice echoed once again in her mind, nothing like her lover's soothing timber, Thea pushed off his chest and took a step back away from him. "_Tell me Red," _his voice licked her. The walls she broke down for Cody were quickly rebuilding themselves as a fortress; around her mind and heart, protecting her from hurt and the pain associated with it.

Cody ground his jaw together. Had it all been in a vain attempt to let himself feel for another? He thought he had found love in Thea, found his freedom and soul, but as she slowly backed herself away from him, distancing herself; he only found the old feeling of cold and anger. _No…you both worked too hard and have come too far to be torn away by dreams. Fight against it, fight for her. _

"Is this about me not being Echo?" Cody asked all emotion voided from his voice. Thea's head shot up and eyes very bright. _I knew it; I knew she wasn't over him. _The jealousy he thought he buried swelled his veins and burned in his blood.

"Never Cody," Thea shook her head. _Tell him,_ her mind begged; _tell him why you have to do this before you lose him._ "I know you're not Echo as you know I'm not Barriss and I love you for who you are." _Tell him…_

"Then why did you ask me to make you forget? Why did you say that I'll never be like him and so forth?" Cody demanded. Arms folded in front of his wide, strong chest he looked ever the forbidding solider that the GAR was proud of. He had every right to question her Thea realized. It did sound as though she had been comparing Echo against Cody and she had to do something quickly.

"You must think I'm mad don't you?" Thea walked over to the table where Cody had a cup of the sweet drink waiting for her and took a sip from it. Peering over the rim of the cup, she glanced at Cody's frowning face.

"Well, you sure haven't acted yourself in the past week so it lends me to think something has hit a switch," he rumbled.

"I wasn't talking about Echo when I asked you to make me forget. I would never ask you to do that, as I would hope to never be asked to make you forget about Barriss. Cody, in my dreams it isn't just Appo and Bow I see anymore." Setting the cup down, Thea took a breath and prayed that he wouldn't fly off the handle when she explained.

It was Cody's turn to shift uneasily in his spot and his frown deepened. "Who do you see?" A very bad feeling set in hard in his stomach.

Grimacing as she took another sip her voice muffled by the cup, Cody did not mistaken as she said, "You."

"Me?" he pointed at his chest. Granted he had the same face as all clones, but each one had their own little quirks. How could she even think of associating him with those…scums?

"I know you wouldn't do anything like that Cody," Thea quickly defended, hoping to extinguish any fire that may ignite, "but this is why I have to kill them. I can't have your beauty, what you and I have worked so hard to make destroyed by two monsters."

Cody had trouble making his mind work, let alone his voice. It took him a moment before he could formulate a response without it sounding too harsh. She was linking him with an atrocious act, one that he couldn't even say out loud without gaging and talking about killing the ones who actually caused it.

"And you think by offing Appo and Bow it will relieve you of these dreams; stop seeing me as your assailant?" Cody snarled.

"Yes Cody, I wouldn't have brought it up otherwise. I promise you I am not going crazy, but I can't live with these nightmares terrorizing me anymore. If, when," she corrected herself, "they are gone I know I'll be in peace. We both can be in peace."

He was hurt that she had placed him with such monsters, but it finally began to become clear as to how much pain Thea really was in. He had been in awful situations as well after getting out of the newly constructed Empire, trying to make ends-meat, barely getting by alive and taking several brutal beatings sexually and physically for a coin or two, but to have it savagely ripped from you over and over again; yes he would want the monsters destroyed. It still didn't mean it didn't hurt any less to be seen in her eyes as one of them.

After several long minutes Cody approached Thea and stood before her. He didn't touch her and she made no attempt to touch him. Standing a head taller made her have to look up to him and she did with both conviction and apology written in her dark eyes.

"I'll do this with or without you Cody," she said softly. "I'd rather have you with me."

"I'm standing here in front of you Thea, as you look at me do you see me as them? Do you see me as a monster?" Cody inwardly held his breath, but gave the persona of calm, cool and collected.

"No," she instantly replied. She skimmed his body with a light touch of her palms, sending shivers and goose bumps to sprout on his skin. Thea rested them on his broad shoulders and gripped them, Cody feeling her nails dig into his flesh. He neither flinched nor said anything, just continued to watch her face. "No Cody," she kissed his jaw. _Not anymore._

Feeling him sigh against her, he breathed against her cheek, "I'll always be with you."

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><p>Traveling through space there was no concept of day or night since it was always dark only lit by the various stars, suns and planets. Thea had a basic time reader in the cockpit and main hull of her ship set to Coruscant time so at least it would give her body some sort of biological make-up of when to get up, go to sleep and some sort of hour during the day.<p>

She was very much aware that she had hurt Cody's feelings when she had told him the reason of her need to kill Appo and Bow. Cody had spent most of the day away from her or when they did cross paths it was few words exchanged between and friction was taut. Now that she and Cody had come to somewhat of an agreement on ridding the universe of the two commanders, Thea had to come up with a plan.

Sitting alone in the cockpit with her legs propped up on the control panel and hands folded in her lap, Thea stared out into the vast, deep of space. With no destination in mind just yet, she and Cody were traveling on sub light engines to conserve fuel and energy. They were going to have to make landfall soon for some much needed supplies and perhaps she could talk to some of her better trusted contacts to see where some of the more secretive of Empire holds were. Figuring Appo and Bow were higher ranked; they would be on some of the tougher, top secret type missions. She would have to pick Cody's brain as well since he had experience with at least Appo.

Thea had to make it up to Cody as well. She had made a serious error in seeing him in the slightest way as those scumbags. Though he had said he'd always be with her, this critically pushed his limits of trust in her. Thea knew she was acting in a way he wasn't used to and made him weary of her intentions and he already was in a fragile state. Sighing, she rubbed her tired eyes and set her feet on the floor. Pushing herself out of the leather chair, she strode out of the cockpit to find her one and steady force in her life and hope to make some sort of amends.

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><p>Cody chewed on his cheek until the skin inside screamed for him to stop. The copper taste of blood filed his mouth, but he paid no mind to it. It only served as a slight distraction to the anger and offence at Thea's accusation. Well, it wasn't really an accusation more as a mere allegation, but it still hurt none the less. Sitting alone in the hull with a couple of darts, he flung one as hard as he could at the board that he and Thea had hung a while back and watched it rock violently back and forth as the dart penetrated it.<p>

He was trying to be understanding, he was going to support her in her crazy idea and after all, he did ask her to tell him and she did. But he was not prepared for _that_ kind of answer. Cody chucked another dart at the board, missing it completely and hitting the side of the hull. It made a loud ding and fell lifelessly to the ground.

"You missed," Cody jumped in his seat, caught off guard and stuck deep in his thoughts; he did not hear Thea enter the room. Standing with both arms bracing her between the doorway, she gave Cody a small smile. He did not return the smile. Her heart dropping a bit, Thea did not want to get completely discouraged. She rolled her shoulders back and stepped into the hull and walked over to the fallen dart. Picking it up and then taking the one out of the board, Cody watched her every movement right up to her standing by his side. Palm flat, she held out the darts to him.

He curled them around his fingers and slowly slid them out of her hand, never breaking eye contact with her. He tossed a dart again and as it thumped against the board, Cody let the other fly from his fingers. Cocking her head to the side, Thea saw where the darts landed: one on the bull's eye and the other right next to it.

"I'm sorry if I offended you Cody," Thea tried to apologize. He continued to glare at her, had his chestnut eyes always been so fiery? "It was just a horrible, stupid dream and the issue will be resolved very soon. I know you aren't those people, I know you couldn't or wouldn't do those things. I love and trust you."

He wanted to shout at her, _"Do you!"_ but he couldn't. Cody loved Thea very much no matter how much turmoil, no matter how up and down their relationship was. Lifting his hands and placing them on her waist, he guided her to sit on his lap and tucked her head under his chin. She curled up against his chest, hearing the soft rhythmic beats of his heart and twined her fingers in his shirt. Not all was forgiven, Thea knew, but it was a start.

"Thea," she could feel the rumbled vibrations through his throat against the top of her head.

"Yes Cody," she murmured back.

"When this…" he searched for the right words, "mission is complete; you have to promise me something."

Thea could feel her body began to tense again, but willed it to stop. She had asked so much from him, she could do this one thing for him. "What is it Cody?" her grip tightened on his shirt.

"You have to promise me you'll get some help. I don't care if it's from Ahsoka or Bardan Jusik, but you'll seek one of them out and have them help you with these dreams." There were some things that Cody knew that he wouldn't be able to help her with, especially since he was already emotionally involved.

"They'll end as soon as Appo and Bow are dead," Thea was convinced of it.

"Just promise me Thea," Cody gently commanded. He didn't like the idea of going to a Jedi or anyone for outside help, but this situation was beyond him.

Feeling the soft breaths against his neck, he heard her whisper, "Okay Cody," and snuggled deeper into the crook of his neck.

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><p><em>Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review! <em>

_More to come soon! =)_


	3. Chapter 3

"Vengeance taken will often tear the heart and torment the conscience."

-Arthur Schopenhauer

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><p>"We need to find a place to land and resupply. Hopefully we can find some helpful information as well." Thea drummed her fingers on the control panel, her face illuminated by a soft green glow of the navigation screen. Cody scooted to the edge of his seat and hovered over her shoulder so that he could get a glimpse of the surrounding systems.<p>

"As much as I hate saying this, I think our best bet is to head toward the Core. If we really want to hear murmurs and talks of where the Imps are heading, the closer we get to Triple Zero the better." Cody hated the idea of returning anywhere near Coruscant. Having to hear, see and be in contact with all the familiar faces and voices for his former command would not bring fond memories.

Thea's head slightly bobbed in tentative agreement. She was just as reluctant to head near her terrors, but it _was_ her idea and if they were to get any information she knew she would have to toughen up. There weren't any bounties on her head and no one recognized her anyway so she had nothing to really fear…right?

"Abregado-Rae would be a good start then," Thea punched a few keys on the consul bringing up the information for Cody. She leaned back in her seat with a thoughtful look plastered on her face. "It's a rough and tumble world, only hard core traders go there and it's the starting point for the bacta-run. There will be lots of traders and smuggler types if the Empire hasn't crushed it with its paw yet.

"Compared to most core worlds, it'll seem almost back-worldly. The space ports are always busy but poorly constructed and run. It shouldn't be hard to get in and get around and we can blend in easily with the scum there. I have a very good friend/client who is from there; at least she used to be." Turning off the panel, Cody propped himself against his arm and stared straight ahead at nothing. "Cody?" Thea asked, "What do you think?"

Lightly shaking his head, he turned to her with a grim expression. _What do I think? I think this whole plan is insane and we should stay far away from any Imperial entanglement and live life quietly. Maybe on a farm like Rex and Levet or near a very small city. That would be fine as long I'm not recognized. Kids maybe one day and a pet nexu to curl at our feet at night, is that too much to ask for? _

Thea's soft voice again shook Cody out of his thoughts and this time he completely focused on her. "There's no way I can convince you to not go through this is there?" He muttered.

Thea furrowed her golden-red brows together. "I thought you'd understand better than anyone why I need to do this," she said defensively.

Sighing, he kept his voice patient, "I do understand Thea; I was just hoping we could just well…" Cody trailed off. He felt stupid, foolish and weak for wanting such un-soldier like dream. _But I'm not a soldier anymore. _

Sitting forward in her chair, Thea ran her hand along Cody's broad shoulder and down his arm. _I'm being so selfish, I know. Asking him to go back and face his kin, asking him to kill one of his own when he fought so hard for freedom, _**"**Cody, don't come with me."Cody pierced Thea with a volatile stare.

"What?"

"I can't ask you to give up what you fought so hard to gain. You have too much to lose," Thea gripped his arm tighter.

"You _are_ mad," he growled. She clearly hadn't expected that reaction and gave him a very perplexed look. His hand suddenly shot out, startling Thea a bit and tangled his fingers in her silky hair, pulling her even more forwards until their foreheads touched. "You're right, I have fought hard and I do have a lot to lose so I'm sticking by your side. I won't, I can't lose you to this hair brained scheme. I want a future with you so don't even try to come up with an excuse as to why I should stay behind because you know I won't. I won't Thea." He cupped her jaw with his other hand and crushed his lips to hers sealing any protest uttered from her mouth.

Slowly they parted; Thea's eyes still closed reeling in the taste of Cody. When had she become so dependent on his strength? Maybe even in her bleakest of moments alone she had always relied on the strength that Echo had left her and now physically craved for it. _I am strong, that is how I survived this long by myself…but is there any shame in a little reliance? _Opening her eyes, Thea only saw determination and love in Cody's own. _No, there is nothing wrong with it. I am not alone in this mad world. _

* * *

><p>With their course now set to Abregado-Rae, Thea had the new challenge of getting in contact with her friend.<p>

Eshka Koskit'krel, a female bothan and to those who did and didn't know her, knew Eshka as an extravagant gem collector, only wanting the most rarest and expensive. With these gems to the outside eye she would make fine jewelry or leave them in pure form and sell them to those whose pockets ran deep. Unbeknownst to even Thea, Eshka stored vital data chips about Imperial locations, up and coming weapons and any important information deemed necessary within these gems and "sold" them to the underground resistance.

Thea recalled meeting Eshka days after escaping Coruscant on Abregado-Rae. While still weak, severely bruised and needing medical attention but not having money and afraid of running into Imperial officers, Thea kept her head down and hoped to find some sort of work as a pilot since that's what she had done for so long. The smell of food even from some of the seedy and unappealing restaurants became attractive as her stomach begged for much needed sustenance; it almost made her dizzy. In fact, her body finally gave up protesting as she continued to turn a blind eye and deaf ear. Her legs gave out and stumbled to the ground. Uncaring pedestrians continued to walk past her as if she weren't even there.

Shallow tears dripped from Thea's eyes as the realization of what she had become and that she may die despite her escape from hell. The only thing that she had left was the body suite she stole from the clone officer and the marks left from Appo and Bow. _Why would I want to go on?_

A gentle paw pressed on the center of her back caused Thea to freeze. _If this is the end, please make it quick,_ she silently begged. When nothing happened, Thea weakly turned her head to the side and glanced through her matted hair to see a long camel-like snout pointed at her.

"We have to get you off these disgusting walkways," the surprising soft voice said to her.

Thea was baffled and couldn't get her abused mind to wrap around this creature that was helping her. Why was _it_ helping her? What did it want? Finding her voice, Thea scathingly asked the question, "Why?"

"Questions and answers later, Little Girl. Come on, get up," The creature's strong claw like fingers tenderly wrapped around Thea's battered arm as if she had known Thea had been through such atrocities and got her to her feet. "Do you have a home?"

Thea shook her head, the dizziness returning. Her knees again gave out and she slumped against her savior. "Sorry," Thea managed to mumble before passing out.

When she awoken it wasn't on the streets as she expected, but on a soft mattress and surrounded by walls. She slowly sat up from the bed and looked around. The room was dimly lit which made it easy on the eyes and a chair with some clothes sat next to the bed. Shuddering, Thea realized that someone had taken the liberty of removing the top half of the body suit from her, peeling it down to her waist and leaving her in her bra. Bandages and bacta salve had been applied to her arms, face, neck, chest and where ever there seemed to be a cut or bruise. She was somewhat appalled that no one had asked her permission to do this, but at least they hadn't gone any further than her chest. The fact that her cuts and bruises already felt a bit better also helped settle any fire brewing within. The bed felt so comfortable to Thea, it had been a long time since she had laid in one and with soft, cotton; real cotton too, not the imitation kind of blankets.

She remembered someone helping her off the walkways of the busy city and then everything went blank. Thea knew that she should find out who had done this for her, but the temptation of a soft bed won and she snuggled deeper into her warm cocoon.

It wasn't long until she found out. "You're awake," a very strong accented voice echoed into her ears and entered the room. Thea curled the blankets up to her chin. The lights in the room suddenly got brighter and Thea had to squint for a moment to adjust to the difference. She turned to look at her rescuer and was surprised to see a bothan. Thea had never been around a bothan before.

This one was white as the snow on Hoth with very faint chestnut colored patches on her arms and neck. The little tresses at the end of her muzzle were in a braid with blue and green silk ribbon woven into it. Dressed in a jaded Nehru-type tunic and oddly followed by cargo style pants that Thea would have never thought to go with such an elegant shirt, she eyed the bothan with caution. Her jaded eyes contrasted drastically with her white fur, but they held a kindness which Thea had not seen in a long time.

"I have some soup and fresh bread out on the stove along with water containing electrolytes. The medical readout said your body was severely depleted of that as well as some internal bruising and fractures. With those cuts and marks I can believe it." The bothan pinched her long snout together which would have caused Thea to laugh if she wasn't so confused.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Thea's voice was hoarse and the thought of water only a hundred or so feet away made her want to drool, but her body lacked in producing any moisture to her mouth. She also aired on the side of caution dispite the nice bed and medical treatment; Thea already broke free from one prison; she didn't want to end up in another.

Removing the clothes that were piled on the chair, the bothan grabbed it and set it closer to the bed. Thea could feel the soft puffs of air coming from her long snout, causing wisps of her hair to flutter. Her white fuzzy ears perked straight up at attention and her eyes brightly sparkled.

"You obviously needed my help," the bothan stated.

"That doesn't mean you couldn't have left me to die like everyone else who passed by," Thea pointed out.

"Would you have preferred that, Little Girl?" Her ears flattened in obvious anger and insult.

_Would have I? _"No, but if you had any clue what I had just been through, you'd understand why I don't trust you're intentions," Thea knew she sounded ungrateful, but all this seemed too good to be true.

Again to her surprise, the bothan gave a light chuckle which showed she sharp teeth. "I promise you my dear you have nothing to fear from me. I'm just a gem dealer who has a soft spot for hard luck cases."

"Then I'm the biggest hard luck case you'll probably ever meet."

Thea later learned the bothan's name over the soup; bread and water, Eshka Koskit'krel and she told the young pilot about her business, excluding the storing of data chips and her connection to the underground resistance. Thea could sense that there was something Eshka wasn't telling her she couldn't quite place it, but giving a mental shrug Thea decided not question it. She was just grateful for a kind word and a warm bed.

Thea didn't talk about her bruises at first or her night terrors, but Eshka had been ever so wonderful and patient to let her stay at least until she got back on her feet. Wanting to repay the kindness that Eshka bestowed on her, Thea had practically begged the older bothan to let her do something. Thea told the bothan that she had been a pilot and could be a runner for her. Eventually conceding, Eshka let Thea do a couple of test runs for her before letting her become a regular. Ultimately Eshka found that she could completely trust Thea be it with her precious gems, bacta etc… and let Thea become her pilot and shipper.

It was then during that time Thea told Eshka about Appo and Bow, her time working with the GAR and even her brief time with Echo.

They had become close friends, even like a small family and Thea owed so much to the bothan. If it wasn't for her, Thea knew she would have been dead by now. Eshka was the one friend she really could trust about anything, at least she thought so.

* * *

><p>"So this friend of yours, do you think she's still there?" A dark feeling began to settle in Cody's stomach and he knew exactly why. Being a soldier in the clone army they had rarely just gone into any situation blind; unplanned of what sort danger laid ahead of them. There was always a strategy, always some sort of intelligence to be stored in his HUD and he was always armed to the tee.<p>

Even on the smuggling missions Cody had gone on with Thea there at least was an agenda and depending on the cargo, they knew what they were getting into. Sometimes there would be surprises, but even in the military that came with the territory.

No, this…mission they were going in with complete blinders. Even if they got a hold of Thea's friend it was the unknown, lack of Intel and resources that was bothering Cody. It was like walking into an already darkened room blindfolded and not given any sort of directions or commands on where to go or what to do. It just seemed wrong. It was wrong and there was nothing Cody could do about it except try and help guide Thea as best as he could in the dark.

"Well this trip will be for nothing if she isn't. I'll send her an encrypted message and tell her…"

"Don't." Cody quickly cut Thea off.

"What?" She asked confused.

"Don't send it encrypted. If there are Imps and there will be, they'll work furiously to crack it and it'll be useless. Just send her a message saying that you're going to be in town for a couple days for refueling and supplies and you'd like to meet because you haven't see each other in a while. Nothing too suspicious but don't make too casual either. They'll be looking for that," Cody breathed out, slowly letting the fire out of his throat.

Thea quickly typed up a message and Cody watched as her finger hovered over the send button and then curled into her palm. Cody twisted his lips in bemusement. Was she having second thoughts?

"Thea?" He asked. Her finger quickly unfolded and pressed hard onto the screen. She held it there until the tip began to turn white and started to shake from the pressure. Cody hesitantly took a hold of her wrist and with a bit of resistance from Thea, he removed her hand from the consul and held it in his own hands. "It'll be okay," Cody tried to sound positive for her.

Thea continued to look at the consul as if she didn't hear him. "Am I a bad person Cody?" She asked a few minutes later, her voice barely above a whisper.

Cody shook his head. "No, why would you think that way?"

Turning to look at him, her eyes didn't betray the disturbance that brewed within. "Why would my nightmares return if I wasn't?" Her eyes seemed to cloud over as the storm swelled. "I want them dead for selfish reasons; for my own vendetta. I want them to suffer as much as they made me suffer, if not more." Cody didn't know what to say after that and he didn't have to. Thea stood up and stretched. Lightly running her hand through Cody's groomed mane, she said tiredly, "I'm going to take a nap. Please wake me if we receive a transmission back."

He should have stopped her. He should have made her come back and talk to him. He should have done so many things at that moment, but instead Cody watched her retreat to their cabin and let the cold steel wall build. Turning back around in his seat and letting his back and shoulders slump exhaustedly against the cool leather, Cody pushed his palms into his eyes. Black spots popped before him and sharp prickles ran up his spine.

The familiar feeling of bitter animosity began to return (not that it ever really left) for Appo and Bow and when watched Thea retreat, black vile ooze started to spread over his insides. It was anger, hatred, severe hostility and the want to cause brutal agony to his kin for every ounce of ache Thea had suffered. It would be done too, he was sure of it. Vengeance's almighty hand would find Appo and Bow.

Was this what Thea felt? If it was, not that he would admit it openly, Cody was afraid.

_I haven't believed in a higher power not in a long time, but if someone or something is out there, please watch over us as we walk in the shadow of darkness._

* * *

><p><em>Thank you all who have reviewed so far, keeps the brain storming and the fingers typing =)<em>

_Please let me know what you think and continue to enjoy! More to come soon_


	4. Chapter 4

_"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey." Kenji Miyazawa_

* * *

><p>His feral grin spread from corner to corner practically reaching his ears. His pearly white teeth sparkled as the dusky sun glittered through the dirty window, showing off his canine-like fangs. Appo's head was slightly tilted down and his eyes raised up making him appear like the devil himself.<p>

Thea stood before him, blaster aimed directly at his chest. Trying to keep her attention on him and not on the unconscious form of Cody who was slumped in the chair bloody and bruised; her palms began to sweat from her death grip on the blaster and rattled nerves.

"I missed you Red," Appo accent seemed heavier; huskier. "I missed the feel of you under me, the softness of your…"

"Shut it you bastard!" Thea shrieked, her voice rising along with her fear. Beads of sweat started to run down the sides of her head and her heart thumped against her chest. This was her chance, this was everything she and Cody had been searching for and as she stood in front of her assailant, Thea found that her brain and fingers would not coordinate.

Fully raising his head, Appo's blazing eyes met her own storming ones. "Come to shoot me? You want to take my life? For what Red? For him?" Appo pointed toward Cody's collapsed body. "For Coruscant?" He raised a brow at her.

Thea raised her lip in a snarl. "Yes! For Coruscant, for what you did to me, the nightmares, the constant threat that I'd run into you," her chest heaved in exertion and anger. Could this man really be that arrogant?

"You ran into me, actually, it seems like you sought me out," Appo took a step closer to Thea.

"Stay back!" She demanded. Thea pointed the blaster at Appo's face and slightly thrust it in his direction to emphasize her point.

"Or what Red? Are you really going to shoot me?" Appo mocked and took a step closer causing Thea to take a step back. _Shoot him Thea. _"Do it my pretty, pretty Red. Shoot me, I wouldn't want anyone else to do it," his voice sent goose bumps traveling over her body despite the hot and humid air.

A moan slipped from Cody momentarily distracting Thea and that's all the opportunity Appo needed. He pounced on her, whacking the blaster out of her hands and slammed her up against the wall. Her head collided first, knocking the wind out of her and caused her to see stars. When her eye sight adjusted, Appo was just a breath away. The familiar taste of bile rose in Thea's throat.

"I'm going to make you scream Red," he growled into her ear. Thea trembled violently against Appo. "And I am going to make your boyfriend watch as you writhe and moan under me. Before you die, I want you see what we do with traitors of the Empire."

"Noooooooo!" Thea screamed.

* * *

><p>"Cody!" Thea shot upwards from her sleeping position. She immediately reached a hand out to feel for her lover and discovered that he wasn't next to her, causing her to panic even more. "Cody!" She cried out even more distressed. Had Appo really found them and taken Cody to torture him? Would she be next?<p>

She didn't even hear the cabin doors open and close, nor hear him run into the room. It only began to register to Thea that Cody was still with her and they indeed had not been taken captive when his strong arms wrapped around her trembling form and pulled her into his lap. He started murmuring soft words into her ear while rocking her back and forth as if she were an infant needing to be soothed. Finally her senses started to come around.

"Appo caught both of us. I could have shot him but I didn't. I couldn't make my fingers work. I coward out Cody," Thea muttered against his neck. "I fracken coward out."

"Shhh, Thea," his voice was soothing against her aching head. She let Cody's warmth and strength melt into her for a little bit longer. Thea slightly shifted her head and placed light kisses along the exposed skin between Cody's neck and jaw eliciting a small sigh from him. Suddenly feeling the feverish heat and needing more, Thea sat back and before Cody could mount a protest, she pushed him none to gently against the chest so that he was forced to fall against the bed and she was sitting atop of his hips.

Stifling a protest with a smothering kiss, Thea and Cody battled with their tongues for dominance until the need for air became a necessity. She fisted his shirt with both of her hands, bracing herself against his heaving chest for stability and bent her head so that her long red tresses curtained her face from Cody's view.

Closing her eyes, Thea prayed for some type of composure to come back to her, but all she felt was raw, crazed lust and the need to forget. Was this how she would associate sex with Cody from now on? When nightmares drove her to wipe out memories?

Feeling his fingers stroke back some of her hair and wrap around her ear, Thea slowly lifted her head and expected to see anger and/or frustration written on Cody's face. Instead she saw concern and empathy.

"Do you want me to help you forget again Thea?" Cody asked hoarsely. With an aching heart she wanted to answer yes, but she shook her head. "How can I help you?"

"Just hold me Cody. Tell me that you love me; tell me that the galaxy will be beautiful again." Gathering her against his chest, Thea listened to his steady heartbeat rhythmically pound against her ear, slowing down her frazzled nerves. Tucking her head under his chin, she felt immediately felt calmer; safer.

She felt him stroke her tangled hair and the vibrations of his honeyed voice reverberate through her body. "Jeg skal være med deg, uansett hvor du er, du forsvarer deg og veilede deg. Mars på, har ingen frykt."

"That's beautiful Cody," Thea murmured. "What does it mean?"

"I shall be with you, wherever you are, guarding you and guiding you. March on, have no fear." She could feel him take a gulp and then continued, "Barriss taught me a little bit of the Mirialan language. On some of the longer missions, when I had a bit of downtime I downloaded some vids so I could learn the language better. It didn't matter by the time I got back to Coruscant."

They lay in silence for a few moments, Thea shifted slightly so that she could wrap her arm around Cody's torso. How could she selfishly forget that she wasn't the only one in pain?

"It matters to me Cody. I am glad you did."

* * *

><p><em>Next stop Abregado-Rae!<em>

_The quote Cody said I actually had converted to Norweign-there wasn't any dialect reference for Mirialan. _

_Hope you have enjoyed so far more to come soon! As always, please review =)_


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